i got the call a little bit ago informing me the babies will be here on thursday. it’s only 6 days earlier, but now it’s really hit me that they’re gonna be here and i’m starting to freak out. i thought i had another week to prepare- mentally and house-wise. the realization that i’m about to be responsible for 2 little lives is overwhelming to say the least. i kind of feel like i’m going to throw up or pass out to be honest haha. i’ve complained for the past 38 weeks about how i’m ready to be done but i’m really scared shitless now that it’s down to the wire. i’ve come so far from the person i use to be. i’ve dragged myself through some terrible, shitty things to get to where i am today. my life isn’t perfect but it’s good. not 100% of the time, but whose is? i’m so relieved joey and i have worked things out too. he may be an immature dumbass sometimes and not have his priorities in line all the time, but i whole-heartedly love him and am so lucky to have him by my side. i just hope i’m a good mom. i hope i can adjust to the screaming and crying and no sleep and messiness that is motherhood. thinking about booger-y hands and throw up on my clothes frankly makes me want to die right now haha but i guess i’ll get over it. i just hope the babes are healthy and happy and don’t think i’m a douche hahaha.